His animated eyes are bulging with anticipation:
playtime; attention; food!
His distinct smell cuddles up to my nose and wriggles inside my nostrils.
His ears perk and his charming head snaps
a little to the right.
He falls to the ground, whimpers and scrubs his skull-
he is just too much.
Becky Forbes is the most wonderful person you will ever meet. Of course if you know her, you will know that this isn’t even her trying to be remotely sarcastic or funny- she genuinely is the most amazing person in the entire human race. So if you think that you have the following symptoms, you should feel incredibly blessed.
- You know that her real name is Rebecca Crystal Mercer-Forbes
- You know that her birthday is 2nd November
- You know that she wants to study English Language
- You know that she gets crabby when she’s hungry
- You know that she’s crazy about cats
- You know that she genuinely loves David Crystal
- You know that she’s cheeky
- You know that she’s got a weird sense of humour
- You know that she’s clever
- You know that the bullet point above was bullshit
- You know that she’s very deep and likes to think of life as a metaphor
- You know that basically everything she says will only make complete sense to herself
- You know that she thinks that she’s always right
- You know that she’s quite arrogant
- You know that she has 578439 make up brushes
- You know that she hates elbows
- You know that she hates belly buttons
- You know that she’s always wearing a dress (even right now)
- You know that she loves all chocolate
- You know that she has a matching Tiffany set
- You know that she has a fab pandora collection
- You know that she’s basically always on her phone
- You know that she’s weird
- You know that she doesn’t judge people on race, gender, intelligence, colour, religion, age, place of birth or your favourite food.
- You know that she definitely judges people on the way they like their tea
- You know that she judges people based on spelling, grammar, punctuation and sentence structures.
- You know that she loves to go to Bangor for a night out
- You know that she loves Katy Perry, Beyonce and Lady Gaga (and that she’s seen them all)
- You know that she’s obviously procrastinating right now
So you have exams? It’s inevitable that you’re social life is going to be destroyed, unless you are desiring to fail them all. We all know that when exams are just around the corner, we begin to go a little bit crazy (to say the least). Here are a few symptoms that you’re losing the plot and you’ve actually lost your life to exams (this is not a reference to actual, physical suicide but suicide of the soul).
- You’re always online shopping even though you’re skint
- You’ve read the labels of the food you’ve eaten as a way to procrastinate
- You’ve signed yourself up to loads of random websites (“of course I want to sign up to adopt a virtual cat”)
- You’ve stalked everybody’s Facebook on your friends list (“omg he’s put on so much weight” or “it didn’t shock me that she’s got pregnant again”)
- You’ve began to tweet more than ever
- You instagram/snapchat pictures of revision to reassure yourself that you’re revising
- You’ve become an avid tea drinker
- You’ve practiced your autograph for when you become the new Bill Gates (“if he doesn’t have any GCSE’s and he’s a billionaire, then I’m sure that I could do it too”)
- You’ve tested how long you can hold your breath for as a way to procrastinate
- You’ve looked through old photos as a way to procrastinate
- The cleanliness of your room fluctuates on a regular basis – it gets super messy due to drowning yourself with revision, then randomly you will tidy it as a way to procrastinate
- Your photo album on your phone is just full of pictures that you took of the white board or other people’s notes
- You’ve put on 328 lbs because of all the food that has fueled your revision